Category: 1

(from September 23, 2010)

Interview with
J. Marie Croft
Author of
Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge

by Mary Simonsen

Hi Joanne. Welcome to my first interview on Austen Authors. Please give us a brief summary of your book, Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge.

Impeccable comportment is mandatory in Regency England, a society governed by strict rules of conduct. Perfectionist Fitzwilliam Darcy, heir to an august ancestral estate, is the epitome of an unimpeachable gentleman, at least until…

Our hero’s immaculate image is somewhat tarnished when he and his handsome traveling companions arrive, hot and sweaty, at Pemberley and decide to take a fateful plunge into a scummy pond. An embarrassing encounter on the estate’s lawn leaves a long-lasting impression on Jane and Elizabeth Bennet, who are new acquaintances of Georgiana and Anna Darcy. With both families in London for the Little Season, Darcy finds himself thrown again into the path of perky Elizabeth Bennet; but a handsome army officer just might blockade further advances.

This romantic comedy is a lighthearted adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and features a softer, sweeter, sillier side of Austen’s beloved characters.

Your interpretation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is truly unique. Classifying it as “humorous” does not do it justice. Would you please describe it for us?

Hey, I was quite content with your calling it ‘unique’ and ‘humorous’, Mary. But I’d also describe Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge as being full of pretentious puns, artful alliterations, a child who says the darndest things, a Candel-lit Christmas (not a typo), Regency slang, corny clichés, a drunk Mr. Darcy, as well as healthy, wealthy, and wise-cracking characters. It’s sweet, light, and fluffy, sort of like angel-food cake ... without the angel ... or the food ... or the cake. No, wait. I forgot about Jane Bennet (although she’s not quite so angelic as usual), and there are a few dinner parties, and, huh, there’s even a wedding cake. Hmm, so yeah, I suppose it’s exactly like angel-food cake.

You have more puns per square inch of writing paper than any other author I have ever read. Do the puns just flow from your pen or do you write a sentence and then insert the puns?

A reader at the Derbyshire Writers Guild had a similar question for me last year. I believe her exact words were, “May I ask whether these pleasing puns proceed from the impulse of the moment or are the result of previous study?” Sound familiar? Perish the thought, but I may have more in common with Mr. Collins than I care to admit. The puns arise chiefly from what is passing at the time; and though I sometimes amuse myself with suggesting and arranging such wordplay as may be adapted to ordinary occasions, I always wish to give them as unstudied an air as possible. Seriously, Mary, I wish I could channel Jane Austen; but, instead, it appears it’s none other than Mr. Collins who inspires me.

How disciplined are you in plotting your story? Do you work with outlines or just start typing?

Well, I tried working with an outline and mapping out how to get from point A to point B; but the characters in Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge threw away my map and hijacked the vehicle I was using. I was then disciplined, forced to perform stenography, and instructed to just type whatever they dictated. The dictators changed my plotted course, and it veered wildly from my original destination. I thank them for steering me away from that insipid place.

Why did you choose Jane Austen? Does her work lend itself to pun-filled re-imaginings?

If Austen’s Pride and Prejudice could lend itself to zombies, there can be no objection to lighthearted, pun-filled re-imaginings; but I must not decide on my own performance. I’ll let readers do so and hope they’ll not be offended that I took such liberties with Austen’s characters. Gah! First Mr. Collins, and now, by taking liberties, I also have something in common with Mr. Wickham. Sheesh!

You have indicated that you are a fan of A&E’s adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. So I shall assume that you had Colin Firth in mind for Mr. Darcy, but who did you picture for Colonel Fitzwilliam?

I’m so glad you asked that question. It behooves me to answer with the assistance of a few visual aids. So, without further ado, allow me to present to you the four handsome gentlemen of Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge:

Fitzwilliam Darcy

Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam

Charles Bingley

Ellis Fleming

These gents bear a remarkable resemblance to (respectively) Colin Firth, James Purefoy, Rupert Penry-Jones, and Richard Armitage. Uncanny, isn’t it?

Now, Mary, I know you only asked about Colonel Fitzwilliam; but, but ... just look how pretty they are! To further transform these fine fellows into characters from Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge, you must picture them in Regency attire ... but without hats, gloves, cravats, waistcoats, and coats ... just damp, clinging white shirts, snug breeches, and tall boots. Er, no further comment.

Is there anything you would like to tell your readers?

Um. Let me think. Hmm ... something to tell them ... Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know! Can I tell them to buy my book?

Joanne, I agree with you. Those are four gorgeous guys. Thanks for sharing your love of Austen with us. It is love, right?

Written anything lately?

09/30/2010

At a local video store one day a few years ago, I headed to the check-out to rent The Jane Austen Book Club. I have since purchased the DVD, but that’s beside the point. Anyway, the young lady working behind the counter saw the title and said, “Is this about that author?”

“Er, no. It’s not about Jane Austen. It’s about people who are discussing her works in a book club,” said I.

“Oh,” said the clerk as she handed me a receipt. “Has she written anything lately?”

I stared at her, probably slack-jawed and bug-eyed. Totally flummoxed, I believe I might have mumbled, “No” before thanking her, taking the receipt and rental, and stepping out into the sunshine. I stood at the curb for a moment, still in a daze, shook my head, and contemplated going back inside to enlighten the unenlightened young woman. I glanced over my shoulder, through the storefront window; but, of course, the next customer was being served by then. I let it go but have often kicked myself for not speaking up.

To be honest and fair, when I was her age I hadn’t yet read Austen either; but at least I knew about the classics and had a rough idea when they were written.

How I wish Jane Austen had lived longer and written more. Fortunately, we have inspired writers offering prequels, what-ifs, alternate universes, and sequels about the Austen characters we love so much. Of them we can ask, “Written anything lately?”

And, um, if you're wondering whether I've written anything lately ... Well, I did just write this blog post. Does that count?

Ophelia

09/26/2010

Ophelia is a song by The Band. Although I’m a fan of the band The Band, this blog post is neither about the song by The Band nor about the band.

Ophelia is one of the moons of one of the planets in our solar system. However, I am not going to touch, even with a ten-foot pole, wordplay on either ‘Uranus’ or ‘moon’.

This blog post is about a pun. What a surprise! A blog post by J. Marie Croft about wordplay ... of all things!

The best line I’ve had directed at me in a very long time came just the other day, and it was from a well-known authoress in the Austen genre. Her comment was in response to my very first interview, which was conducted by Mary Simonsen (The Second Date, Searching for Pemberley, and Anne Elliot, A New Beginning) at Austen Authors.

If you’re interested, here’s the interview link.

Anyway, Regina Jeffers (Darcy’s Passions, Darcy’s Dreams/Temptation, Vampire Darcy’s Desire, Honor and Hope, The Phantom of Pemberley, and Scandal of Lady Eleanor) said, and I quote:

“Ah, ... get thee to a punnery, Ms. Croft!!! Entertaining and fun to read...thank you for sharing.”

For those not familiar with the reference, “get thee to a punnery” is wordplay on a line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet. The title character says to Ophelia "get thee to a nunnery." Ok, I have to confess ... I knew it was Shakespeare; but ... tsk, tsk ... I had to research from which play the quote came.

Mary Catherine Bolton
(1790-1830)
as Ophelia
in Shakespeare's Hamlet
1813

Now, if someone would please just point me in the direction of a punnery, I'll be on my merry way.

TOP 10 REASONS

09/16/2010

Top 10
Reasons to Read
Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge

10. Healthy, wealthy, and wise-cracking characters
9. Children who say the darndest things
8. Artful alliterations
7. Prestigious Pemberley
6. Precious pets
5. Pretentious puns
4. Regency slang
3. Fitzwilliam Darcy
2. Drunk Fitzwilliam Darcy
1. Wet Fitzwilliam Darcy

An Invitation

09/05/2010

Writers of Jane Austen fiction

cordially invite you to the

Launch

of

Austen Authors

and to share in our passion for her world

... because there’s never enough Jane Austen.

We look forward to the pleasure of your company on

Monday, September 6, 2010,

and daily thereafter.

Throughout September, during our Launch Extravaganza, there will be posts by many of your favourite Austen-related fiction writers as well as contests, quizzes, a scavenger hunt, oodles of information, spotlight guest Amanda Grange (Mr. Darcy Vampyre), new release parties, author introductions, entertainment, humour, polls, secrets, recipes, games galore, and giveaways of gifts and books from the authors and their publishers. Mark your calendar, join us, and be sure to post comments.

My idea of good company is the company of clever, well-informed people who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.
~ Jane Austen ~

>>>*<<<

I hope you'll join me at Austen Authors.
J. Marie Croft

To pre-order Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge, visit the Rhemalda Publishing Bookstore. Your book will be shipped with a complimentary ceramic coaster featuring the cover art if you order by October 31, 2010. The official release date for Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge is November 1, 2010.

Austen Authors

08/26/2010

On August 22 I received an email from Sharon Lathan. A fan of Austen-inspired works, I instantly recognized her name as that of a well-established author in the genre. Sharon invited me to join her and Abigail Reynolds (another popular Austen writer) at their exciting new blog. Of course, I immediately jumped at the chance; and I am thrilled to have my name added to their growing list of ‘Austen Authors’, which is the apt name for our group. At last count, there were nineteen of us.

Mary Simonsen (Searching for Pemberley, The Second Date, and Anne Elliot, A New Beginning) is one of the ‘Austen Authors’; and it was Mary who passed along my name to them. I am amazed at this lady’s thoughtfulness and generosity. Although Mary and I have never met, I often refer to her as my newest best friend. We formed a mutual-admiration society at a Jane Austen fan-fiction site where we posted stories, and she has been helpful on this journey toward publication of my first novel. Mary Simonsen’s name even has the audacity to appear above mine on the front cover of that book!!! She provided this much-appreciated blurb for Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge: “A wonderfully unique Jane Austen re-imagining. Absolutely delightful! Get ready to laugh.”

As a newbie, I am happy to be in such esteemed company; and I hope you’ll visit us at http://www.austenauthors.com/.

The blog’s launch date is September 6, 2010; and we have planned oodles of fun activities, information, and giveaways. See you there!

How well do you know Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice?

08/19/2010

Pride & Prejudice Quiz

Elizabeth Bennet receives, and rejects, her second offer of marriage at Hunsford, near __________, Kent.
A young man from the north is to take possession of Netherfield Park before September 29th, which is the feast day known as __________.
__________ is described as a most delightful village with an excellent parsonage house.
The Earl of Matlock’s second son holds the military rank of __________.
Purvis Lodge has dreadful __________.
Who wore a blue coat and rode a black horse? __________
From what bathing place does Lydia Bennet elope? __________
According to Sir Lewis de Bourgh’s widow, Dawson does not object to what type of equipage? __________
What is the name of the parish in which the Wickhams were wed? __________
Mrs. Long went to the Meryton Assembly in a __________.
Who plays and sings all day long? __________
At the end of Volume I, the sight of Miss __________ was odious to Mrs. Bennet.
Who said “Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing, after all”? __________
At Rosings, Mrs. Jenkinson’s table was superlatively __________.
Elizabeth hoped that by the following Christmas Kitty might be so tolerably reasonable as not to mention an officer above once a day, unless by some cruel and malicious arrangement at the ___________, another regiment should be quartered in Meryton.
The Gouldings inhabit __________-Park.
What was the position held by the late Mr. Wickham before he became Pemberley’s steward? __________
Elizabeth Bennet’s petticoat was how many inches deep in mud when she arrived at Netherfield? __________
What is Mrs. Forster’s first name? __________
Lady Metcalfe finds Miss __________ a treasure.

Email your 20 answers to me (jmariecroft@gmail.com), and your name will be entered in a contest. The draw takes place on October 25th, one week before the official book launch of Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge. Only one entry per email address will be accepted. The prize is a signed copy of Mr. Darcy Takes the Plunge (plus a few surprises). The winner’s name and the correct answers will be revealed in my post on October 26th. Good Luck!

A Fortnight's Worth of Austen's 'Quote of the Day'

08/15/2010

Here are fourteen of my favourite Jane Austen quotations (other than the one I’ve adopted as my writing motto ... “Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.”). I either totally agree with the quotes or snicker each time I read them. I shall leave it to you to speculate which is which.

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.

Business, you know, may bring you money, but friendship hardly ever does.

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.

Life seems but a quick succession of busy nothings.

Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch.

One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

Selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is not hope of a cure.

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

They are much to be pitied who have not been given a taste for nature early in life.

Those who do not complain are never pitied.

To sit in the shade on a fine day and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.

What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.

Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?

So, which of these quotations is your favourite? Please leave a comment.